Hoping for a Miracle!

MIRACLE! MIRACLE! MIRACLE!

Are you exist? 

Anyone believe in miracle?

I do believe in you and
I need you so badly now!!

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” 
― Albert Einstein

“What was wonderful about childhood is that anything in it was a wonder. It was not merely a world full of miracles; it was a miraculous world.” 
― G.K. Chesterton

“Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see.” 
― Lemony Snicket, The Lump of Coal

“Miracles are what happens when you get out of the way of yourself.” 
― Brad Szollose

“To witness miracles unfold in your experience, count your blessings and be thankful. Perceived small blessings accumulate to be the most powerful.” 
― T.F. Hodge, From Within I Rise: Spiritual Triumph Over Death and Conscious Encounters with "The Divine Presence"

“Miracles only happen if you believe in miracles.” 
― Paulo Coelho

MIRACLE! MIRACLE! MIRACLE! 

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

I just kind of wish someone would ask me when im not around.
or feel butterflies when i walk into a room.
I know its kind of stupid, but i just want someone to care.

P/S: As a man, i know i shouldn't say this, it sounds disgusting.. but, sometimes i really need someone to care bout me =/

A Must Read Story

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.


P/S: i got it somewhere at fb. Is this what best friend should do? BEST FRIEND =S

Finally she got the present! but it isn't in a good condition already. =/
Saddddddd.....! =((
Btw, Can i get top 5 ? please please please!!!! =))))) hehehe HAHAHA HOHOHO
wait, let me rephrase. I am sure that i can get top 5!

P/S: Anyone believe in miracle? i need it so badly now =(

Im so sorry to hear your bad news again.
I felt so useless, cant be there to comfort you, to cheer you up.
I just hope that you are fine. =)

Today is Christmas eve!!
Oh yea! we survive from the Doomsday!
Now, its the new life of everyone! Lets start everything again!
the BEGINNING!
My name is Bruce, 18. I am easy going, friendly, approachable and adaptable. Even though I'm dark but good looking. An average degree holder, average in academic, average in communication skill, average in leadership, average in most of the things. However, sometimes I'm smart ass like Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, John Nash etc etc.
I am random, I'm forgiveful and forgetful.
I like to joke, i like to talk nonsense.
sometimes i like to think a lot, sometimes i'm not.
sometimes i'm extrovert, sometimes i'm not.
sometimes i'm full of optismistic, sometimes i'm not.
sometimes i'm strong, sometimes i'm not.
sometimes i'm clever, sometimes i'm not.
sometimes i can pay 100% concentration, sometimes i can't
sometimes i don't know what to do, and i will laugh at the problems. =)
But, what i'm sure now is. I am kind! I am a good man!I love my parents very much! I am confident! I'm moving forward! I do not regret to what i have done.
Whats done is done, nothing to be regret about.
Happy Christmas eve!

If tomorrow were to be a DOOM DAY, i will die will regret. Full of regret!
I still haven't earn enough money for my parents, no chance to be a filial piety to them.
I didn't express myself well throughout these years.
I fail to make my family proud.
I am so coward to face problems, and everything in life.
I react so slow to everything that i faced.
Sometimes, I wanted to say i love you dad and mom, but i just cant say it out.
Sometimes, I say something dramatically because i scared nobody want to listen to my boring stories.
Sometimes, I act stupid because i know the truth is hurting.
Sometimes, I be a joker because i don't want to feel the loneliness.
Sometimes, I'm just keep quiet because i don't know how to deal with the problems.
Sometimes, I acted so desperate because i scared i might missed out the opportunity.
I'm such a failure, i fail to prove how much i love to the person i loved. i fail to convince her, i fail to make her happy, i fail to bring her joy, i fail to make her think of me,i fail to help her when she need the most, i fail to cheer her up when she is down, i fail to make her fall for me, i fail.. i fail everything..
Even for now, if tomorrow is really doom i still don't have the gut to phone call her now.
Maybe, Im just dont any glamour.
Bruce is such a loser.

P/S: I'm a big fat failure. 

I went out with my dad this morning, and he mentioned that case again. Its affect the current thing that im doing and make me feel so bad. Im in dilemma now. What should i do? am i doing the right thing? should i continue doing it? Its now over my expectation and i dont know what will be the result.. how should i deal with this problem =/
All these questions keep on wandering inside my mind. HAIH! i really dono what to do =(
Somebody please tell me what am i suppose to do =((
Somebody please... =(((

P/S: haih.. =(

My mood is just like this egg. =/
11 days to go...
haih..

P/S: 进退两难 =(

The road seems tough now.. its getting tougher and tougher now =(
Chamm... its really tougher than what i had expected.. haih... miscalculated..... =((((
Can i get top 5 and remain in top 5?
please!!! if not im gonna dieeee!!! =((((((((
vespa vespa vespa!!!

P/S: im not sure whats the outcome would be if i keep on putting effort on it.. but im sure, i will LOST EVERYTHING if i stop putting effort!

Today i went to learn motorbike again, cham.. i was wearing short sleeve. Therefore, im getting darker! Anyway, today is an efficient day! argh... superbike ah, why are you so heavy! every time when i ride on it, my leg will cramp. Darn! And, theres really a big different between superbike and normal bike. The weight is so big different!

Btw, weiii.... this isnt what i planned for, faster go and take it! time is killing me! Im lazy to continue telling lie already and its getting less and less excitement.. faster! and i hope everything inside of it still in the best condition. =/

Today i went to help my relative look after his shop again, haha... it was a tired day.
Not much customer today, =/ profit goes down =(
nvm, i dont bother.. not my profit also. XD
wuiii, actually she is pretty everyday de! not only that night! hahahaha...

-motorbike! vrroom vrooom!
-haih!! why why???? noob internet! give back all my points..!
-wui, why you so slow to send it... haih...noob.... =(

Finally its all done! packed! sent!
Now, is motorbike time! woooohooo!! vrrooommmm vvvroooooomm!!!
tired tired tired!!

I cant believe i got such a strong spirit of doing this without sleeping! wow! Time pass so fast, its dawn now...

P/S: (Y) for myself! haha!

1. I think im thinking too much.. i should stop thinking that way. Truth is hurt. =(

2. Cham...i almost chun bou! Gonna keep secret! dont reveal it please!!

3. I have to double hardworking to win something.. i cant be lazy already! aarghhh... why the competitor so competitive? i cant even take a longer rest? =/

4. life is too short, we have to live to the fullest. Today i went to visit my secondary school tutor, he is my father's best buddy.. he is my tutor, he is so good.. but now, he passed away =( 59 yr old. How long can we live? how many ten years we have? what should we really appreciate? money? humanity? =/

Before i leave miri, i made her one thing. After i left miri, she made me one thing! COOL! I'm so touched!!!! The feeling was really awesome!!!! never felt that way before!!! wuiii!!! thats the greatest thing i had received!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Im graduated! im leaving miri, im looking for jobs. im going to work. i have to earn money. i have to figure out some others method to earn money. money money money. arghhh... graduate's mindset. Cham, im no longer a student! These pop out in my mind all of the sudden. =/

P/S: Finally its done!! =)))) Good NIGHT!

YES! i am almost there!! almost finish!!! woohooo!!! happy Happy HAPPY!!!

WOOHOOO!!! result out and im graduated!!!
but, i am unemployee now =(
Haha, i am going to enjoy these few days first! im leaving miri soon! and of course iam going to miss someone alot!!! i think i'll miss miri alot!   its gave me alot of memories, good and bad. And i love these memories regardless of positive or negative.

P/S: i have been doing it for a few nights! sleepless night! i hope it will result a great outcome =)

Hey, how are you? the frisbee plate hit you really strong. There must be alot o che, fast fast recover! take care!

Today i study human behaviour again.. same routine, but this time i went to Bintang Plaza to observe people. Its not that easy though, its make my eye so tired of observing people. During lunch, my mom called me.. huhu, she make me feel like going back to kk!! i miss you mom etc!! <3 a="a" after="after" already.="already." around="around" back="back" brian="brian" doll..="doll.." everyone="everyone" fate="fate" foong="foong" for="for" have="have" hehe="hehe" hometown="hometown" i="i" its="its" look="look" met="met" moreover="moreover" nbsp="nbsp" objective="objective" p="p" plaza="plaza" same="same" surprisingly="surprisingly" that="that" the="the" their="their" thought="thought" to="to" walking="walking" we="we" went="went">At night, i ask S to friend me to Bintang tomorrow. Well, she rejected me as i expected. Hmm.. i think its the way i ask her was quite rude.
Haih, suddenly feeling no mood for everything again.
However, tomorrow afternoon gonna play bdmtn with S, Karen etc! =))))
And i went to dinner with my housemate. Haha, its so rarely happen. Now i know where got good thing eat! Roasted 童子 Chicken! At bypass there!

P/S: I'm feeling great bcz i still can meet some friends when i wondering around Bintang! =)))
P/S(ii): Since you wanted to make for him! What if i make for you!! i have decided!!! =))))

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. if you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And  like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.

-Steve Jobs-

P/S: =)

I want to learn the way to read people's mind. This morning, i done a bit research on it and straight away apply it. I went to a Boulevard shopping mall, i sit at KFC and try to observe everyone, every body language, every movement, every expression and trying to figure out whats their next action, whats their feeling, what are they thinking.

Hmm... its quite interesting to learn, but hard to guess it correct.

P/S: I am mind reader! hehe

Haih... Tonight, i was so evil. Btw, something in me, its just making me sad without reasons.
Moreover, I read one of my friends blog regarding a relationship.. sometimes, somehow, a relationship can be so fake that its left a big impact to the respective individuals. This happen especially to a broken up relationship. Lets be a positive thinker, relationship can help the individual to improve or 前进. And even cause the individual to become stronger. But, if i were to experience it.. i'll just feeling like the world is going to end very soon! no mood for everything and yet, i cant show it to outside world. I still have to wear a fake mask and smile to the world again.

P/S: Life is a game.

Today outing with S and friends! we wanted to go sing k at terminal but ended up its full house. Therefore, we decided to go to Marina Bay. Drinking of a little bit of beer and play the Truth or Dare.
I am so happy that she concern about my date of going back kk. =)
however, haih, i knew she will say she likes nobody. But, why am i still sad about it? my tears was dropping actually when i heard it.. thats why i lying down with my face facing down.
Haih! haih! haih! I have been negative for a period of time again! now, no more!!
POSITIVE THINKING!!

P/S: I have to attract more positive things!!! POSITIVE MINDED NOW!!!

Early in the morning, but im just feeling so down.. haih, gonna wear fake mask again. If i have to pay for wearing fake mask, i think im broke now. =(

P/S: Why should i feeling down? since i know that she isn't into me. Haih... I should be firm!

During the outing with S, my feeling is very down.. just, dont know why am i feeling that way. I'm just feel like, the more we meet, the more sad i am.. =(

And, i pretended to be stomachache and roaming around Boulevard in order to avoid seeing you so much.. its, so contradict, im the one that promised to have lunch with you, and im the one who dont want to see you so much.. =(

arghhh!!! I have told myself to give up! Why should i still feeling sad to see you? I shouldn't feel that way, i must be able to treat you like normal friend.. =(

Tomorrow is Leadership Camp! and im the emcee! i must jia you! stop thinking nonsense! i will try my best not to treat you that good in the camp... and in future =(

I must be able to do it! thats the only way to forget about you! Sorry for my cruelness.. i have to say " I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE!" " I GAVE UP!"

P/S: I said it with my fingers cross.. haih...............................................................

S just called me just now, after the calling, im just 莫明其秒的悲伤掉了两滴泪.. =(

Today morning send Arizan and Franky to airport, Arizan's car puncture at a few min before reaching the airport! Its make us think so hard either stop and change tyre or just continue driving as the boarding gate will be closing very soon! Well, we just drove till the airport and change the tyre there. Good Good!
After that fetch Jong Ling to campus for Emcee practice! and script writing! Hahahah! Jong Ling, you really can be a good secretary as well! i dint contribute much in it writing the script =P
However, i just feeling sleepy the whole day! hahahahah.
btw btw, cham!! Jong Ling discovered my another secret!!! ou nooo!!!! shhhhh... must diam2 ah...

P/S: Karen! ni zai penang play dao shuang bu shuang! Enjoy~!

Another fake smile day... After finish my last paper, i feel like a bit down because what i expected to come out in the exam, it didn't come out. =(
Erik, i really can feel your feeling.
I wish i could pass all units! and graduate! and get out of miri =(
I think, im tired of staying in miri, its leave too much memory to me. =(
I should treat all memory as good memory ba, bcz its keep us moving forward and improve ourselves.
After the last paper, we went to brunei for sushi. This is where my fake smile happen again, haih.. After the last paper, i feel like no mood for everything. But, in order not to show it out, i was pretended to be happy, walking around campus, ask for signature on my cloth, laugh, jumping, acting childish again. =(
Jong Ling was right, i was acting childish to cover all this kind of sad expression. =(
Just now i was return the car to Arizan, while waiting Arizan in the car.. i almost cant hold my tears, all the -ve stuff went into my mind again, but i scared Arizan will see it so i force to hold it! arghhhhh!!! wth am i doing!!! =(((
Now, im home. My sister slept.. tears, im going to say hi to you again. I cant hold myself to read your twitter again,and looking back to the photos of you and me. And its been about 28 days i tried not to miss you, but today i started to think about you.. haih... arghhhhh!!! why why why should i miss you? why? =(
Im just... feeling so down, its just so complicated, i don't know how to express myself... again. =(
I just need some chat, a listener maybe? =(

P/S: I'm gonna wear my smiling mask again..

P/S: Using Ice to prevent melting heart? is it meant you gonna treat him more cold? hmm... good idea =)

FINAL STUDENT DAY!

Tomorrow will me my last exam paper! Bless me! Afterward i will be graduated and work! =) Time Flies Like Speed Of Light!!! Blink an eye, three years have pass! We must live with no regret!

P/S: Time really pass by very fast, we must appreciate all the things that are presently around us. =)

Karen!! are you really going to Perth that fast? =( why dont you wait me go back kk first =(((
At least i can farewell with you.... T.T dont leave so fast plz plz plzzzz!!!

P/S: How can you leave earlier than me! please tell me you are lying!! =(

Ewwwwww!!!! Karen pian me!!!!! You made me feel sad for an hour!!! made me feel like the world is ending!!! i purposely book my flight ticket late late is bcz i want to ask you out de!!!!

Karen is Leaving! =(

Karen told me that she is leaving miri at 31st Oct to KL after that direct go to Perth for student transfer. After i know this, suddenly i felt so sad. Dont know why, im just feeling sad that she is leaving =(

Its so sudden that she said she is leaving.. =(

Im feeling sad all of the sudden. Karen!!! =(((

Wo Bu She De Ni Zou!!! =((((

P/S: Its good also that you transfer to Perth.

Today, Me Bryan Bong Albiie Ke Hui Ke Min and Jane Lau went to Sushi Bonanza again! and,  im so sad that i heard Jane Lau said Sheryl never fall in love with me.

CV dinner

Yesterday night, after the CV dinner, i can see that there are so many couple or possible couple.
1. Erik Kenneth and Chloe Cheng
2. Jeffrey Choo and Felicia Wong
3. Bryan Yap and Sharon Chia
4. KarKei and that unknown guy
5. Albert Marzuki and Whei Yi
6. Yi Qing and Wan Ying

And, me? Forever alone? i hate that feeling. Is there anyone falling in love with me? =(
Maybe im too weak for everything. Even thought i bring along Chai Wan Ying to the dinner, but i din't know how, what to do, we din't talk much. I am not good in everything, I am not good in talking, im not good in cracking jokes, im not good in communicating, im just... the worse people in the world

I found out that i'm indeed very weak in everything. What do i have? What i got? What make me so outstanding? What can i do to to improve myself, how?  These questions keep on playing in my mind the whole night, i can't figure out the answer. Perhaps, there is no answer in me. All these questions can even make my tears fall again. I promised myself not to cry but at least for these 28 days, i failed. I cried, my tears just can't hold and its finally fall.
I am just too weak for everything. Lousy in study, poor in communication and English  weak in going after the one i love,  i have no common sense, i am slow learner etc.

P/S: I think i really need someone to comfort me.

Is this indirect reject me again?

P/S: Went to Jane Lau's hse dinner with Sheryl

Today i saw you doing the Accounting 260 assignment. I felt so noob bcz i cant help you =( and also i scare i'll misleading you. So, i choose not to teach you. I know that assignment gt abit tough for you, i know you are suffering, i can see it but i just dono how to help.. perhaps i just help you ask the answer from your friends? will i ruin you or should i let you do yourself? idk idk! i scare if i help more, i love you more, the more i love you, the more you dislike me, the more you dislike me, the more sorrow i am. Haih, i'm so selfish, im not going to help you bcz im dont want to get hurt.. the only thing i can do is.. saying Good Luck Sheryl.

P/S: Sorry, i was insane.. i uploaded your picture here.

I said this is should be our last photo. She felt very happy. She still avoiding me. Based on psychologist, her hand position is defending position which she felt unsecure when im beside her =(
I already tell her this is our last photo, but she still can't open herself, she still cant relax, she still cant take a perfect photo of us. She still cannot.. haih, are you really that not into me? i think i had repeated this questions alot of times =(
STOP! stop sorrowness, i must be happy, positive positive!!

P/S: Actually, i'm reluctant to say i give up in you.

The 28 days Magic

Today i start the 28 days the Magic! again, i hope i wont think about you anymore because thinking of you will make me sad only. I dont want to be sad for this 28 days... i hope i can do it! and Today, i peep your twitter, you only will update your feeling about him, not me. How sad could this be =(
STOP! -clear
Restart! Positive Thinking!

P/S: Day 1.

4个问题

我喜欢的那个人，能不能问你4个问题？
1。 有没有一瞬间，你上网是为了找我，让我陪你聊天？
2。 有没有那么一种感动，当你看到手机上有我发的短讯时，嘴角会有一丝满意的微笑？
3。 如果有一天我不再和你 联络 了，你是否会主动联络我吗？
4。 如果有一天，我彻底的在你的世界里消失，你会不会想起有我？

Gave Up!

The strong feeling from me to you,
You can never felt the feeling,
Cause you never look in me,
You never care about me,
perhaps, you just don't want to feel it,
I just wanted to make you feel my love,
or I'm not hardworking enough,
I decided, I surrender, I quit, I give up,
I had thinking of it for one night,
The saddest night i ever felt,
Tears drop for one whole night,
I hope i wont regret for this decision,
I GIVE UP in you,
but, I still INTO you,
Time flies faster than everything,
What left is only sorrowness in me.

P/S: The feeling after long house visit.

Lunch Dinner with HER

Today is so efficient day!
6.00am: Play Basketball
8.30am: Bathing
9.00am: Breakfast
10.00am: Calling to companies for sponsorship and Nap
1130am: Watch one episode of a drama. The sad scene just like me and HER =(
12.30pm : Lunch with HER and Ke Hui them~
1.30pm: Visited and Received a RM 1,000 cheque from Dai Lieng Sdn. Bhd.
2.30pm: Met Mavis's Dad (Village sdn bhd)
3.30pm: Visited and Received RM 200 cheque from Sartex Sdn. Bhd.
4.30pm: fb awhile
5.10pm: Go Erik house try to help him out in his assignment
5.30pm: Dinner with HER!
6.00pm: Go Byap house hangout
7.00pm: Meeting at campus
9.20pm: Reached home!
9.50pm: Writing my Blog and fb awhile more
1030pm: SLEEP! and stalk her twitter :p


P/S I: Haih! During Lunch and Dinner, its so happy yet SAD! I am happy cz i can eat together with HER, but, the way she treated me make me felt sad. Maybe she is playing with me =( or she is serious =(

P/S II: She still the same, whenever i ask her, the answer will always be same "Dont want".

P/S III: She asked me "Shut Up" =(( This is the most hurtful thing, Do you know how hurt am i when you said the words? can you please be gentle abit? for you, im fragile. If you are another girl, i wont be feeling sad, i can even counter her back. But, its you, i like you, i feel hurt and feel sad and i take it serious no matter what words as long as you spoke it. =(

P/S IV: I felt sad again when Ke Hui said what if i'll stay in Miri and kacau you. The first answer from you is that, you dont want me to stay =((((( can you please geh geh say you want me to stay? Do you know how much you mean to me? Do you know i will do whatever as long as i can be with you? Do you know i cant give up on you? Do you know? Do you know? =(((

P/S V: Do you really know that you mean alot to me? You little tiny action can actually affect my mood of the WHOLE DAY.

Her Twitter

Looking at her twitter, her emo status. It was a past time, please forget about him, he is not worth to be missed. I am so evil, ask you to give up on the one you love =(
She is still missing Him. Missing the one she shouldn't has to miss. Why you wanted to missing the one who are not worth to miss?
I think this question can be apply on me as well. Im missing her. Missing the one i shouldn't have to miss because i know she will never miss me. Why should i want to miss you? i really really into her. I like her until i can go crazy, i like her until i can scarify everything. I scare once you will never love me if i scarify everything. I scare you turn back to me. I scare you reject me again. I scare, I scare, I scare. I don't know what to do. =(

P/S: =(

Heart Broken Curtin Open Day ! =(((

Today is Curtin Open day, it should be a very happy day! =)
I am the Curtin Volunteer for this event. Early in the morning, i went to campus for preparation of the event. I also help out Jeen Hao's booth, this is a best from Jennifer,
Jennifer: Bruce, since you know so many other girls that are better then S, but why you still go for Sheryl?

Off course i dont want any other girls! i only want you! Sheryl! ONLY YOU!! SHERYL!! I ONLY LIKE YOU!! S.H.E.R.Y.L

Besides, we went to check our blood pressure and blood sugar. After i checked, i purposely dont show you my result, and hoping that you will ask for it. But, you never ask for it. You never care about me. Why am i still want to care about you? One sided love. =( ILY ILY
In the evening, i saw people playing the sand art, therefore i also went to have a look. And i saw one which the pattern is quite good one and the written words are "Great Work". In my mind, i was thinking that, she has work so hard for the whole day, so I am going to color the pattern and give it to her. You know what, this is the first time i do this, and and i dono how to combine the color. Hence, i just try my best to combine everything, but ended up with a bad result, so many ppl said it ulgy =(
But, nvm ba.. its from my heart! i just want to give you.

Perhaps the way i give it to you is a bit rude, but.. haih, I think you dint even keep it for 30seconds... i know the coloring is badly done, but.. why you straight away throw it? or leave it else where? =( 

sorry, i was expect too much because im the only one who is loving you, which you never did. Everytime when i meet you, i feel like our distance is getting farther away.... again. ILY ILY.

P/S: Do you know that when i notice that you dint keep this laoya bee paper, my heart was cracking, breaking, hurting. but... ILY ILY im such a failure, i fail to make you fall for me. im failure, im noob. =(

11th September

I dont give up, i gave you another call tonight it just very short one =(. But my mind went blank again when she answered the phone.. i dont know what to talk, perhaps some nonsense, haih =(
She said im noob, and she dont like noob =(
Hinting? =(((((( am i really that noob?
I felt the gap between us is getting bigger and bigger.. i wanted to smaller the gap but, everytime when i want to do that, i keep on feeling the gap is never getting small, its bigger instead. =(!

p/s: you really dont like me? or perhaps you can lie to me and say u like me? =(

10th September

I have no fate with you?
Morning- I wanted to look for you after your class, but you are not there when i reach SOB
Night- Its been a long time that i never call you, and i wanted to have some chit chat with you tonight, but, you are not free when i call you. =(
No Fate! So no fate!! =((((

P/S: No Fate? please... dont please..

IM TIRED!

P/S: IM TIRED!

Good day or Bad day? =(

Today i promised my sister to be her drive for the whole day because she is going out with her friends. Therefore, i pick up they all then depart! haha. I sent them to Merdeka mall then i go to Parkson to buy the Printer Ink. And i know that you might be sore throat, so i bought you the lemonade and some buns. Actually i have to fetch my sister and her friend back home. But, the good news is that my sister tell me no need to fetch them back. Hence, i got time to look for her. =)

I know she might be sore throat.
I bought her lemonade.
I went to her house.
I call her.
She is not at home.
I wanted to find her.
but she is playing badminton.
she said she will call me afterward.
i wanted to look for her.
i wait..
i wait..
waiting..
waiting..
Actually, i was just waiting you outside where she was..
At the blind spot.
Finally, i received her msg.
Im happy.
I go to her house.
I look for her.
I gave it to her.
She indeed sore throat.
But, she dint look happy when she saw me.
Everything ended up so fast.
I feel like she din't care about me.
She will never care about me.
She will never..
=(

After that,
I went to Canada Hill alone.
I feel like shouting screaming.
But, i cant shout it out.
it all kept deep inside of me.
I sit on the bench looking at the sunset.
I felt the loneliness.
All negative things come into my mind.
I'll never be with her.
Sad.
I never knew that i will be this sad.
Why should i be sad? she never care about me also.
Worth to be sad? I don't care.
I'm just sad bcz i want her!

I went back to Senadin.
No mood for dinner.
No mood for everything.
=(

Now,
I'm headache, i think lack of water.
ILY! =(

P/S: I never knew that i will be so sad of this. I need to stop thinking about you because i know you're not thinking about me.

Final Semester Free Week =(

She use to update her twitter to express her feeling and emotion, but recently she did not. Is it because i hangout with you? and you have no feeling to me? =(
However, i felt happy and contented with my free week that im able to hangout with you, watch movie, sing k, dinner, visit fun fair, go Canada Hill and finally supper at McD. I can say that im very happy since i came to miri for about 2.5++ years. I can never imagine that i could hangout with you for so long.. but i dint really appreciated the hours that we hangout together, bcz my mind was blank! =(
Every time with i was with you, i dono what to talk, my brain always get empty and blank. And the saddest thing that i found is, the more i hangout with you, the more impossible i can be with you =(
You are just too awesome, great! I felt like im just an idiot, a dummy, a childish minded..

p/s: ILY! but now i have no idea how to prove ILY anymore =(

I have been busy for two events last few days! but its so fantastic! its worth! One of the events is the ASNB talk, so sad, i dint really listen to the talk and another one is CPA - Australia Business Conference, the speaker was Jonathan Quek. This conference was so cool! i learn alot through this event, it teach you how to be RICH! and how your mindset should be in order to get rich! haha. And the most important thing is you have to strongly believe it and fight for it! Three simple steps:

i) Set a Goal

ii) Plan Strategy 

iii) Action!

Again.. you dint reply my msg =(

Its been a long time i dint meet with you face to face, im so happy to meet you today. I like the feeling when meeting you.
我有很多话想跟你说，可是当你在我的旁边的是候。。我突然只想安静的坐在你身旁却忘了要说的话， 听着你和别人的对话都感觉的很开心 =）

27.7.2012! Today is albiie's bday! haha, we celebrate her bday! okay this is the summary! hahaha
After class i am an emcee for acc club agm, i was so sad that i dint see S there =( but nvm ba, since she also doesnt like me one =((((( i thought you will come deeeee :(((((((((((( -SAD!

after the agm, we went to celebrate albiie''s bday! yes! im so glad you got come!! woo hoooo!! chit chat abit, im so happy when i saw the way you smile when i gave you the KeyChain! hahahahha XD and and, are you wearing the black singlet that i bought for you? haahahha :p and im happy that you talk with me first! hahahaa =)) -HAPPY!

P/S: can it be SAD + HAPPY = NEUTRAL ?

I have to move forward, i've been stay at this stage for a long time. Its time to move on! Good bye my past! its all past tense! its no longer exist! we cant change the past, so, i must appreciate everything around me and strike the best for the future!
I have a new dream, i wanted to work in Brunei after i graduated!

These few days i felt very sad, haihz... why should i cry for a girl that dont like me. why should i feel sad of giving up a girl that dont like me. What i lost is a girl who doesnt like me, and what she lost is a guy that so care about her, why should i feel sorrow? ='(
Why should i sad, she will never feel it anyway.. i must be happy, i must be happy! There are so many choice out there, why should i care so much for a girl who doesnt like me? =(
Today we met, we are normal friend, and we must be like this? we cant never get closer? we cant never be together? owwww, what a childish thought... =(

P/S: You're looking for textbook, and i found it for you, im so happy =)

Miri! im coming! time flies like rocket, this is my final semester. After this, im officially enter the society life, working working working, earn earn earn, pay pay pay. =( RACE RAT! Any other way to earn more money? semester start soon!!!

uiiiiiiiiii, i miss you i miss you i miss you! and sometimes i feel like calling you but... =( dont you miss me? so long time i dint chat with you.. fai dit find me chatting ehhh, im waitingggggg
haih, another idiot hope. its really the end? =( can i dont want end ?

WOW! its the first time i went to KK's pulau.. haha, Pulau always leave us a good memory just like last time i visited the Pulau Mabul with form 6 ppl. its so fun! but but... im scared of water, im scared of diving, im scared of snorkeling.. lol, noob liao. nvm ba, as long as i like pulau then ok liao. =)

And now... i saw that msg "miss the way you say hi to me" is the "you" refer to me? =( im so damn wish that "you" is refer to me, but i think its not =( 

I saw you online in fb, so wish that i can chat with you, so many things wana tell you, so many things wana share with you but i think you'll never care about me.

I miss you!

P/S: I miss a girl that does not into me =(
        How?

Its been a week that i dint look for you, i force myself not to look for you. I keep myself busy so that i wont think so much about you, but i always fail, everyday night before go to bed, i cant sleep without thinking of you, what a fool. I know that she will never like me but still i cant put down her.

29th june night, at Sunway Pyramid. Do you still remember that you saw my eye abit wet and you asked me "Bruce, are you sleepy?" At that time, im not sleepy actually, i wasnt sleepy, its bcz i cried. Do you know why i said i want to walk around alone eventhough all the shops are closed? Its because my tears keep on falling down and i cant stand with it, so i have to pretend to walk around so that i can rub away my tears. Its keep on falling down..  Do you realize that during the last night we shopping at Sunway Pyramid, i was actually cant stand with all my tears, and it drop. That night, im kind of avoid you.. because whenever i look at your back, my tears drop from my eye.. because i know that i will never be with you and that will be the last night we can hangout.. During that day, i captured alot of your picture from behind, because i know that i would never take such photo anymore. What i can see in you is... your shadow, i can no longer look at your face. I know that, you will never fall for me. i know that you will never... never.. ='(

Just a few minutes ago, when i on my fb. i saw you online.. i click on your chat, and leave it there, and i come to write my blog. Maybe its a little bit of fate, you automatically say hi to me... at that time, i cant belive that i saw your message, i slap myself twice, am i dreaming? im so happy, im so glad that you finally chat with me. Somehow, i felt sad that when i replied you, my tears drop again. Maybe its indicate that we are not meant to be together.. i replied you quite cold, bcz i know that you will treat me cold as well.. =(

I know that we are impossible but i will always at your back silently observe and protect you.

P/S: 我真傻，明明知到她不喜欢自己可是遍遍喜欢上她。你说的对， 我真的是够笨的， 喜欢上一个永远不会喜欢自己的人， 还傻傻的为他做东西， 还对自己说，总有一天， 她会爱上我。 这些都是自己骗自己的话。。。

Yesterday i went to do part time teacher again, its fun. i taught primary 2, they are so cute~~ feel like pinch all the cutie's faceee~~~ XD This is my teaching timetable~

Tonight i went to yamcha with clement and natalie they all, its fun as well. Its make me not think about her so much. i need more hangout! I checked my result, and its not very good :( And i saw her msg again... i think its for me again, =( its another rejection msg, its cruel. ='( You really cant give what i want? :( Its really end here? =( Can i continue fall for you? =(( Can i continue? =((((( P/S: I think it will be the best solution if i give up on you...

Is that msg for me?

Is that what you wanted to tell me?

Is this the end? :'(

I'm an idiot, stupid fool, always hoping for impossible things to happen, always believe in something impossible, always believe in law of attraction that will make your thinking come true, even though i know the result but still i resist to accept... and still hoping there will be a hope :'( 

Now, its proven. its show that.. the result is... ="(

p/s: The truth is always hurt.

I just got back from the kl industries trip with friends, including S :)
Visited Dell, Kuehne + nagel sdn bhd, Deloitte, Cheng & Co, PWC, UHY and CPA australia.

It was a fantastic trip. we get to know the companies better and the working places.

Dell is just a little bit similar to Google workplace, where the company provide leisure area such as snooker, gym room, gaming place, yoga rooms, and darts. The employee can enjoy that facilities at anytime! cool~!

Kuehne + Nagel sdn bhd is a world top 3 logistic company. This company own very little properties and yet can earn a big sum of money! cool~! and i learnt a cool phrase, "Amature plan strategy, Leader plan logistic."

Deloitte and Cheng & co. nothing much but only the CEO very persuasive in talking + a bit humor.

PWC working place is quite systematic and there are alot of young employee. 

UHY is a medium firm and its a good place for fresh graduates to learn and experience alot. As they have to do and responsible for more works.

.

.

.

Ok! its done! now its time for informal things!!
Im so happy that i could hangout with S throughout the trips! 

I think i had done my part very well, and im waiting for your reply now. 

Most probably, the history will repeat :(((((

and honestly, i had capture some of your picture from the back.

When i look at the picture, its just like im standing at the same place and you are walking away from me. The distance between us is getting further and further, perhaps we never get close to each other :(

And i found a good phrase in fb wall "趁我还爱你， 可不可以不要错过我？"

P/S: 不要错过我, 好不好?

Im leaving to kl very soon already, and gonna meet up with S! i dint text you for a long time, im wondering how are you now.. i wanted to text with you, but..its meaningless if im the only one that keep on looking for you and you are so seldom find me, :(  i wanted to ask whether you finish packing? how are you recently? i got alot of thing want to ask you but suan liao, dont care liao, see how it goes later when i meet you.. i want to meet you so badly!! :))))))) 

I hope it will be a Fantastic Trip with you! XP

p/s: bye kk sin, Hi S~! :p

Today is the 5th day. I purposely dint look for you for five days.. why you wont jia jia find me leh? :((( im doing this bcz i can make myself not that like you or forget about you. And yday when i saw your updated photo in fb, i felt like i cant never forget you.  19th, i heard my mom said Miri got haze, i feel like asking how are you there.
And during the 18th, the time i leaving miri. I met a friend and she said if the girl really like you, she will automatically find you if you dint look for that girl few days. HAIHZ! This theory make me more sad! why you no find meeeee :(((((((
These 5 days i just jia jia keep me busy, but every night my mind is full of you before i go to bed! and also, i hoping to see your msg everytime when i woke up... but it will never come true :(((
Law Of Attraction! are you really exists? :(((

P/S: i still like you!

Today i take but to a shopping mall, Bintang together with my bro, we went there walk around at there. After lunch then we walk from Bintang to another shopping mall, Boulevard. We walk under the sun from 2.30pm and reach at around 3.30pm. It was so HOT and TIRING! and my feet pain! sweaty! My skin is getting DARKER! oh gosh! but what make me happy during the journey is that, i went to S's house! just outside there... haha, curi2 take some photos out there :p felt happy! 
But at night time, i call her... and she was outside. so, we hang up the phone. Usually, she will say something like "i'll tell you once i reach home." but this time... she didnt...and she didnt even tell me where is she... =((((((((( i just wana talk with you the last time at miri...miri is where im near with you..=(((((((( im leaving tomorrow.. =(((((((( This little thing can make me emo...=(((((((((((( 


p/s: =((((((((

Sibu Trip!

I went to sibu for few days, woot. I went around sibu and keep on eating, finally end up with gained 1 KG! haha! i had fun and good experience. 

EAT!

 EAT!

We even went to jog! :)

 Sing K!

 SING K!

Eat Pork's leg! 

 Eat 水鱼!

And we saw King of Turtle! which we can make wishes there. I made two XD 

Finally when we reach miri!!

P/S: I did buy some souvenir for S, hope she like it XD 

Today I had finish third Final! one more to go~ woohooo.. Friday is the last day of Exam :)))  

Tomorrow morning gonna go Maybank for interview..wow, abit nervous! With my noob general knowledge, i hope i can pass this time :) 

This gonna be my First Real Interview ever! if im not mistaken, there are 6 ppl going to interview me :S

One of them are the Sarawak Maybank's Director. 

Maybank had one recruitment program, which train you to become branch manager in 2 years time. 

The salary is RM2800 basis! + RM330 allowance! :)))

Firstly, we have to go through an employee training program, which last about 20 weeks at Bangi, and during this period, accommodation and meals are provided. And and they still pay us salary $.$

But i think i wont work at Maybank no matter i pass or fail the interview, hahaaha

HER BIRTHDAY!

Today is her birthday :)
I borrow Arizan's car to go town
I bought two slices of cake
I go to her house
I call her
I ask her to come down
I sang birthday song to her =)
She made 3 wishes
She happy
I happy
Its a happy day
Im hyper happy! :)

p/s: Im feeling super happy until i dono how to describe! and tomorrow i will have a exam~ same goes to her~ Good Luck both of us :))))

Wednesday, 30th May 2012

I found this quote quite true.. How HOw HOW! =S

P/S: Should i give up? Once i gave up... everything will turn into nothing...

Study Week!

Its study week now, the Final Exam will be held after this week!! and now im just started revise the second chapter of one of the four units... O.O 

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p/s: Scary! 

A strong man might come from a strong mental
   A strong mental might come from a strong spirit
      A strong spirit might come from a strong soul
         A strong soul might come from a strong body
A strong body not necessary come from a strong heart
   A soft heart can be hurt easily that change the person's world
      A world is now dull, everything seems to be meaningless
         A person will disappear in no time if not being appreciated

Happy day

Today is a happy day! Today there was a interview for those who want to join the KL industries visit. And S is joining, therefore, she have to be interviewed at around 1pm. But unfortunately, i got class from 12-3pm! I dont care about class, i attend the class for the 1st hour and after that i skip.. haha~ this is the final study week already, final chance to meet her! and this is the precious opportunity to see her being interview. :) hehe, i got curi2 capture a few photo of it :P

After the interview, i accompany her to walk to her car as she wanted to change her high heel. During the journey to the car, i meet so many friends and keep on say 'hi'. I hope all of them misunderstand that she is my gf =X  haha! but the truth is sad.. haihzzz =(. However, im happy :) Its so good if the time can stop at this moment..

After she changed her heel, i friend her back to library. Next, Ke Hui and her friends are going to have a presentation in the afternoon, so, i being along Bryan's laptop and find any empty LTCL classroom for them to rehearsal. after rehearsal, i friend them to their class. She and S are same class...so, i got curi2 peep S as well XD OMG! im just like the secondary school student! this is the thing that we missed out during secondary school! HAHA!

I wait her outside until she finish her class :) after that i take photo with her :)))) After that i go to library and study together with Ke hui and SY. 630pm i got another class again, after that i continue do my revision at library, but the revision is not very efficient, exam coming soon~~~ cham gou!

At night, had dinner with BRyan and SY at mee stall. 

GOOD NIGHT! 

p/s x2: Good night S!!! :))))))

Music Workshop!

1.       I wake up with happiness as im going to a music workshop with Bryan, Bing yu, Lemon and Brian. And there is a super band come from Philipine! Named Juwita Suwito! 

2.       I had an accounting club meeting before the music workshop.

3.       After that I went to the music workshop,  Juwita taught us the vocals. And I learnt the way to breath, make sound with tones.

4.      I enjoy the jamming session. I was surprise that Im actually enjoying it! I never knew that its so funny to see a live band. I fall in love with the band!

5.      I can actually feel the feeling of the music.

6.       Im truly grateful that the RM35 ticket is very worth it.

7.       At night, We went to the mini concert at miri golf club. Its held by the music club as well. And the performers are Juwita Suwito’s band, music club’s committee and so on.

8.       Im really grateful that I got the chance to enjoy the live band! Its really like a concert!

9.       And we actually share some little secrets among our friends. Hehe^^

10.   Im very grateful that I can even take photo together with Juwita Suwito and the band’s players! 

After the mini concert, we take bus back to Senadin. Otw back to senadin, Sam Tze Mun 

mentioned that she made a new friend whose name is S. Im so excited to know more about it!!! Then i keep on spam questions to Sam, hahaha.. so Happy to know about her stories :) ARGH! 

based on Sam, S carried two Big barrel! S is so 辛苦~ i wish i was there to help her! If i knew it, i rather sacrifice my music workshop! :)

1. Today morning, there is one more music workshop again, where the performers tell us their background and why they actually come into the music field. At night, I had dinner with Bryan, Bing Yu and the Big Gang(Chloe, Easter, Natalie, Clement)! hahaha unexpected bing yu will bring so many ppl, but its good :)

Hahah, i htink i got abit over buly Natalie~ im going to say sorry here!! SORRY NATALIE! i know i dint tell you my blog, but at least it shows that im guilty that i bully you.. hahaha 

And Bing yu, Lemon! Jia You in your upcoming interview! Dont emo so much liao~~ :)) cheers!

P/S: Dear Curtin friends, Dont Spread my blog to Curtin Friend!! :)))))))

Juwita Suwito's band!

Another band.

Juwita Suwito!! WOOO WOOO!

Happy day x2

Yes! today i had a super fun badminton match with S! wooohooo! its too happy, its can neither describe in words nor picture XD
She treated me as normal friend, and i think, its hard for me to go after her already =/
Its just like the case below, Im 犯贱! 為甚麼要愛一個不愛自己的人? (Why should i like a person that she don't like me?)

Happy day!

Today im so happy. i met her, we talk, just like normal friend :)))
And tomorrow im going to play badminton with her :)))))
I hope everything will going smoothly :)))))
i got one question, is it possible that i chase her again? or should i give up and just maintain as normal friend?
both options make me crazy, moreover, i still dont want to give up on her!

11th May :'(

Actually i dont want to disclose that i had made my first confession to a girl. But after i watch a movie named

《夏日乐悠悠》 Love You You (2011) 

its make me feel like writing it out in the blog to release the misery in me. 11th May i borrow my Arizan's car at night and go the S house for confession. Before the confession, i had a bad feeling that my confession will fail because i think its not the time to confess, however, i dont belive my feeling. Even though i know that most probably i'll fail but never try never know, if i try maybe i have 1% of success :(

After i reach her house, i park my car somewhere away but near her house. I want to call her to make sure she is at home and ask her to come down stair, but...there is something unpleasant happened. the phone line is so bad that i cant reach her. i called her so many times...i think around 20 times, Finally i can get through her. Then i talk with her normally. And i make sure that she at home. After that i hang up. Then, i use the candles to make " I <3 U" but the wind is keep on blowing off most of the candles. After everything done, i call her again, i ask her to come out her house, in the mean time, i saw her mom and her sister coming back home. A moment later, i saw her, she finally come out from her house. and finally we met. 

Im nervous. i directly tell her my purpose. When she saw the candles "I <3 U" , she ask me to keep it. At that time, im heart cracked the most, its hopeless. Everything is DOOM! IM SO SAD! The answer she gave me was, just to be normal friend... The moment i heard it..i wanted to cry but i just cant cry out.. its suffer inside..

After finish talking, she go back to her house, and my tears directly fall from my eye at the moment she leave me.

i cry all the way back to my house. I never know that im that weak. These few nights, just before i slept, i picture the scene again, and my tears come out form my eye, i cant stand with it.. :'(

Yesterday (Sunday) i went out with Bing yu, Chloe, eve, boon, sj, belle, kai wen, wei chong they all. During lunch, when i heard Eve said, if a girl reject a guy by saying "just want to be friend" its meant that the girl never love that guy :'( and she also said that, usually the guy will misunderstand that the girl is giving the opportunity to the guy...but, its not. Indirectly, its mean that S really dont love me.. =(

S! i always look for you and thicken my face to find you in campus! do you think im that strong? Now only i realize that im so weak.. im.. so.. weak.. im so weak... one rejection can make me so emo, crying at night... 

Now, im with the fake smile in campus, fake laugh, to cover my emo-ness, i hope i can have my real smile very soon.. ='(

Im suffer! but at least i tell her my heart's feeling.. its make me feel good and also sad at the same time. im not regret what i done, but im just sad..

p/s: i hope my next post wont be emo.. ='(
      i felt abit better after i wrote my feeling

THE TIME HAS COME!

THE TIME HAS COME! DEAD OR ALIVE!

C NIGHT!

Tonight will be Dead or Alive! im scare, suk.. cham! i must not scare at this moment! my feeling now is happy and excited. At the same time, i got abit -ve minded.. Bless me!!! ALL THE BEST! there's something BIG tonight!!!! the time is APPROACHING!

P/S: I LIKE YOU! ALOT!

ONE DAY LEFT!

Time flies! tomorrow is the DUE DATE! im so nervous, scare, suk, and many more (-ve sign) arrrrr.... okay, lets skip this part first.

Today, when i woke up, my heart beating really fast, i can sense it. Im nervous. Its take a few mins to clam myself down. Im not sure why im nervous but i think its bcz of presentation or tmr's Secret Event ba XD. by the way, i got a presentation today,and i think we did it quite well, we presented pro-ly~ hahaha.... we keep on rehearsal for the whole day. nothing much about today. just that im worry about tmr...

P/S: ITS TOMORROW! IM SCARE LA BOSS!