Happy day!

Today im so happy. i met her, we talk, just like normal friend :)))
And tomorrow im going to play badminton with her :)))))
I hope everything will going smoothly :)))))
i got one question, is it possible that i chase her again? or should i give up and just maintain as normal friend?
both options make me crazy, moreover, i still dont want to give up on her!

11th May :'(

Actually i dont want to disclose that i had made my first confession to a girl. But after i watch a movie named

《夏日乐悠悠》 Love You You (2011) 

its make me feel like writing it out in the blog to release the misery in me. 11th May i borrow my Arizan's car at night and go the S house for confession. Before the confession, i had a bad feeling that my confession will fail because i think its not the time to confess, however, i dont belive my feeling. Even though i know that most probably i'll fail but never try never know, if i try maybe i have 1% of success :(

After i reach her house, i park my car somewhere away but near her house. I want to call her to make sure she is at home and ask her to come down stair, but...there is something unpleasant happened. the phone line is so bad that i cant reach her. i called her so many times...i think around 20 times, Finally i can get through her. Then i talk with her normally. And i make sure that she at home. After that i hang up. Then, i use the candles to make " I <3 U" but the wind is keep on blowing off most of the candles. After everything done, i call her again, i ask her to come out her house, in the mean time, i saw her mom and her sister coming back home. A moment later, i saw her, she finally come out from her house. and finally we met. 

Im nervous. i directly tell her my purpose. When she saw the candles "I <3 U" , she ask me to keep it. At that time, im heart cracked the most, its hopeless. Everything is DOOM! IM SO SAD! The answer she gave me was, just to be normal friend... The moment i heard it..i wanted to cry but i just cant cry out.. its suffer inside..

After finish talking, she go back to her house, and my tears directly fall from my eye at the moment she leave me.

i cry all the way back to my house. I never know that im that weak. These few nights, just before i slept, i picture the scene again, and my tears come out form my eye, i cant stand with it.. :'(

Yesterday (Sunday) i went out with Bing yu, Chloe, eve, boon, sj, belle, kai wen, wei chong they all. During lunch, when i heard Eve said, if a girl reject a guy by saying "just want to be friend" its meant that the girl never love that guy :'( and she also said that, usually the guy will misunderstand that the girl is giving the opportunity to the guy...but, its not. Indirectly, its mean that S really dont love me.. =(

S! i always look for you and thicken my face to find you in campus! do you think im that strong? Now only i realize that im so weak.. im.. so.. weak.. im so weak... one rejection can make me so emo, crying at night... 

Now, im with the fake smile in campus, fake laugh, to cover my emo-ness, i hope i can have my real smile very soon.. ='(

Im suffer! but at least i tell her my heart's feeling.. its make me feel good and also sad at the same time. im not regret what i done, but im just sad..

p/s: i hope my next post wont be emo.. ='(
      i felt abit better after i wrote my feeling

THE TIME HAS COME!

THE TIME HAS COME! DEAD OR ALIVE!

C NIGHT!

Tonight will be Dead or Alive! im scare, suk.. cham! i must not scare at this moment! my feeling now is happy and excited. At the same time, i got abit -ve minded.. Bless me!!! ALL THE BEST! there's something BIG tonight!!!! the time is APPROACHING!

P/S: I LIKE YOU! ALOT!

ONE DAY LEFT!

Time flies! tomorrow is the DUE DATE! im so nervous, scare, suk, and many more (-ve sign) arrrrr.... okay, lets skip this part first.

Today, when i woke up, my heart beating really fast, i can sense it. Im nervous. Its take a few mins to clam myself down. Im not sure why im nervous but i think its bcz of presentation or tmr's Secret Event ba XD. by the way, i got a presentation today,and i think we did it quite well, we presented pro-ly~ hahaha.... we keep on rehearsal for the whole day. nothing much about today. just that im worry about tmr...

P/S: ITS TOMORROW! IM SCARE LA BOSS!

More cham liao!! die die die

Today i went to campus early in the morning as i need to renew my student visa, pass something to R and hand in a form to a lecturer. The time i reached campus, i saw S's friends, this tell me that she just finished her class! yay~ its time to meet her again~~ but, after i met her, of course im with a big smile :D and ask where is she going, then she replied " the place that without you" .... :((((( but im still maintaining my big smile and talk abit nonsense. after that i pretend to go toilet and refill my bottle. :((((((((( from a big smile to D: im think she was kidding but still im sad :(((((((
After i refilled my water, then i saw R and i pass that thing to the R. R is a girl, therefore, i pretend to talk alot with her because i wanted to make S jealous! after i finish talk then i noticed that S is gone...haha, :((((( and i go ahead with the thing that i have to do. After i dont everything, then i call S and ask where is she. She said she is now at library and its full, implying me not to come :((((((((( i was so SAD to the max!!! maybe she was kidding again.....and i hope she was...
After the call, im just like....walking around the campus without direction... i saw Xue Shan taking care of a donation booth at LT foyer. i joint her and of course donated some money. After awhile i saw Erik, and i sit with Erik at another table. Had some chit chat and i saw S's friends, SY and Ke Hui. So, we all sit together and jia jia chit chat again. After a little while, Erik left and i follow S's friends to library and hoping that i can see her~ but unluckily i dont. At around 12pm, they all got class.. so, i jia jia send S's friends to the class in order to make S jealous again! haha...but im not sure if it work, but i just did that. I saw her inside the class, i just wave my hand and say bye to her... after that i peep xia peep xia her XP the feeling is just Happy and Sad!
I took 1220 bus back to Senadin, lunch with Bong and his gf. after that presetation group meeting...the stress is coming, during the meeting, Bryan posted something on S's wall... after finish meeting, its alerady dinner time.. i eat abit, no appetite..
And at 10pm like that, i saw her online in fb, i commented the post that posted by Bryan and find her chatting, she replied me very cold :((((((
Now, im writting my script and prepare for the presentation~ wooohooo~~~



P/S: The time is approachingggg!!!! Feeling hopeless :c

Happy Tuesday?

Today i met her alot of times and had lunch dinner together. Im suppose to be happy but, she just like not really care about me :( im not sure you just kidding or serious one :( but, i  feel that you dont care about me so much. Haih, and not really pay attention to what i talking about. During dinner time more cham, you just focus on playing game...=C im just sad. And i pretend nothing happen, so i just mingle with your other friend  =((( And i did observe you from time to time, but what i observed is that, haihzz.. i dono how to say, i can simplified by saying im not important to you. =(((((

p/s: The time is coming! is it a good thing? haihhzzz..... =CCCC